Friday... 0600...

It's Friday 0600...  Know what's wrong with the picture???

ITunes has still not uploaded the season starter of Grey's Anatomy!  If they have I certainly can't open it...  Still though...  itunes is on my list.

That being said I had to walk out on Grey's Anatomy halfway through the first epp.  Why?  Because it was time to go to work.  Evil hospital...  I so to be able to download something worth watching right about now.

At the moment it's the Q word...  A word I can not say for it will bring upon a plague of people who want to be seen for absolutely nothing...

For that matter...  For those who go to the ER for every little thing that you could really see your doctor for in the morning.

1. If you come in by EMA for something minor that has plagued you for 2 weeks we are not impressed that you have the ability to dial 911.  (Just so you know they train dogs to do that to)  If you come in by EMA you had better be sick...  If not you will be labeled a ninnie.  Enjoy the waiting room with all the other ninnies.

2. This is not show and tell.  You don't have to fish anything out of the toilet to show me.  (You really don't since I'm the clerk.  Show the nurse if you insist on that behavior)  If you did fish something out of the toilet no you may not use my pen.

3. When you come in you are triaged.  Which means that someone of medical license takes you into a room and asks you questions.  They are deciding how sick you are.  Just because you came in before the elderly lady who is having a heart attack does not mean you get to go first.  Sit down and don't bother me.

4. Do not for any reason speak the words to me "You already have it in my chart"  The nurses don't have your chart and when I ask you questions I'm verifying information.  If I didn't need the information I wouldn't be asking you.  So when I ask you for your insurance card and you say "You have it on record"  Don't be surprised when it doesn't show up on a bill which you now owe the entirety of.  If you come to an ER bring your insurance card!

5. Do not utter the words "My doctor has all my information already" when checking in for any reason.  Look around.  Does the Emergency Room in any way look like your doctor's office?  No?  There's a reason for that.  I'm not going to go hunting for your information.  I'm also not walking across the street to get your file.  Give me your address.  It is easier after all.

6. If I give you both a vomit bag and a trash can and you still insist on vomiting on the floor I'm not cleaning it up.  I'm not paid nearly enough for that.

7. The emergency room has a completely separate definition of sick than you do.  If you claim to be sick you had better be dying.

8. Kidney Stones are not an emergency.  Painful yes.  Emergency?  Hardly.

9. Do not ask me how much longer it will be.  I don't do sympathy so trying to look pitiful won't work.  It's entirely up to the nurses because I have no medical degree.

10. Do not ring the bell to get my attention when I am sitting right infront of you.  Just because I am writing something and do not immediately look up upon your being seated does not mean that I don't know you're there.  Give me five seconds to finish what I'm writing.  Also in the case that I honestly didn't hear you...  A simple "Excuse me"  Would suffice.  Every time I hear the bell I die a little inside and want to throw said bell at you.

11. Do not say to me "My Doctor called ahead."  Look out in the waiting room.  I'm willing to bet that half of them said the same thing.  It didn't help them either.

12. It's not smart to tell me that you have no intent on paying the bill.  I do report this stuff you know.

13. One complaint per customer please.

14. If you come in by EMA have a way home in mind.  I'm not making arrangements for you.

15. Don't come back to my window after you've been released from the ER and complain about the service.  Guess what...  The people I work with?  Friends and Coworkers.  You?  Annoying person.  You do not have my sympathy in the matter.  It's also not going to change anything.  Just because you didn't get the drug you wanted doesn't mean you didn't receive good care.  We're going to laugh about you when you leave.  

16. Don't sit in front of my window and not say anything.  It is much faster if you cooperate.

17. When I ask you what's wrong don't give me your life's story.  Complaint of Leg Pain is much better than "When I was a boy I had a cat (Fill in mindless stuff here)  And that's why today I have this horrible ache in my right lower leg"  Guess what I'm going to take from that story?  Leg pain!

18. Why on Earth would you come into an ER where it's bright and loud and busy when you have a migraine.  1st Migraine?  Sure I understand that if you don't know what's happening and why your head feels it's going to go kaboom.  Frequent Migraines?  Should know better by now...

19. If I know your name upon walking through the door it's not something to be proud of.  I promise you I'm not nearly as happy to see you as you are to see me.

20. The pain can always be worse.

So that's my list.  Mostly because it's Friday 0600 and I have decided I really....  REALLY  Hate my job...

Maji